If all yuh hear ah make a jail yuh would know it was because of mih big mout’. I want to know someting. Why Creole and Indian Trinidadians at each udda troat?

I know Trinidad is not de onlyest place dat have racial tension. Panday and Manning not de onlyest two politician playin’ de arse. But since when Indian an’ Creole Trinis get so chupid all at de same time? Leh mih tell all yuh someting eh. Home is Home an’ it hard to watch what goin’ on down dey.

I Ieave home since ah small. Ah livin’ up here in Ice Box land an’ watchin’ Cretien and Bush playin’ dolly house wid people life. Ah see how de onlyest little piece'a colour an’ culture come from de self same immigrants de overseers looking down on. Ah get to realize dat while you an’ me helpin’ keep up dis economy an’ gettin’ no gratitude, people back home so happy dat dey gorn all in de bush to look for trouble.

De udda day I hear Panday come up here to Toronto wid one set’a fat talk, lookin’ for money for he party. Now I doh have a problem wid supportin’ a party home. Ah mean to say, if we give he one dollar dat is almost five dollars home right? He could use it tuh buy food fuh de chirren and get proper school books and ting, right? But I hear how Panday have some serious cahcahdah hide away in he jahaaji bundle in England! I hear how Piarco Airport cost billions to buil’ but like he buil’ it wid kite paper an’ spit. Every time a plane pass de roof does cave een an' de current does go.

Doh stan’ up dere an’ tell me de Indian Trinidadians feel if Panday in power dey will suddenly have money like gobar an’ tings will be sweet? De account he have in England have all Indian Trinidadians name mark as beneficiary?

When Manning get in power, he give he ministers a new brand Mercedes. Did he make a copy’a de key for all de Creole Trinidadians? Did he fix de road so de Mercedes wouldn’t drop down in ah hole? How many of all yuh go in a new job an’ de boss han’ you a bonus an’ a new car de same day?

Ah had one las’ hair on mih pickey head an’ now it drop out.

Yuh see me? I doh care if you is White, Negro, Chiney, Indian or Pothong. I doh even care if you teefin’ money or have twenty outside chirren. But do your job!

Manning and Panday using de race card to make de whole islan’ a pappyshow. Dey proving dat all races lickrish. Ah was arguin' wid somebody in a Trini chat room call Masala 101 de udda day an' de person say how racisn would never finish. I had was to turn an’ tell dem dat when Martin Luther King Jr. went over by Ghandi to ole talk, de two’a dem should’a jes’ fire a stiff rum, eat a roti an’ say tuh hell wid it.

In a day when people frighten to fly in plane an’ terrorists killing black is white, you mean to tell me Trinis home fightin’ over who hair straight an’ who hair knot up? If fight start back home, Brudda Manning and Panday Beta go jump on a private jet togedda an’ disappear to live elsewhere on we money. How much yuh want to bet?

"Indians and Negroes unite, we have won de battle for human rights". All yuh remember dat chune? I doh even tink I was born yet when dat chune come out an’ I older dan Methuselah.

If you have family home, write an’ tell dem to stop dis foolishness. We had enough worries when dem two towers collapse. Now we heart in we mout’ again to hear what goin’ on home. I hear home dey would kidnap a lamppost if dey could get ransom for it. Why dey doh kidnap each udda? Is dem badjohns what have de money now.

Afghanistan was in a mess is how come foreign powers could’a slip inside and tun everyting ole mas. Trinidad in a mess now, dey feel is a joke or what? Bush not goin' to allow a Caribbean island to become unstable widdout steppin' een. Yuh doubt mih? An' once de US step een yuh might as well paint a stars and stripes on yuh Trini backside. Dey own yuh! Stop dere an' feel Panday an' Manning have you to study.

Ah wonder if I could stow away on BWEE and reach home in time to run for Prime Minister? Ah claimin’ refugee status when ah reach. Ah callin’ mihself Mary Fatima McRamsinghstein. All yuh would come an’ vote fuh mih?

cric crack monkey break he back