2003COMMESS UNIVERSITY©
Survey Says!
Copyright (NT) November 2002
People sen’in mih email tuh say how dey vex how dey Trini frens only talking about what ah does write but how dey cah understan’ it too good. I know how it is. Udda people bus’in some scandalous laugh in de orfice an’ you sitting down dere like Johnny Come Lately, ent? Ah even have some fresh water Trinis who fugget how we does talk back home an’ tellin’ mih how ah makin’ dem sweat to remember everyting.
Ah does get some letter - Oh Gooode! All yuh better dan a rum shop lime! One lady tell me how she was in work one day an’ de bossman like he wife put starch in he drawers - only givin’ she tunda – do dis, do dat, makin’ she stress out. Dat same day somebody sen’ she a email wid my story about Bouncy an’ Halle an’ Serena. She say how de nearly break she tail fallin’ off de chair laughing. She say how de stress ease off she shoulder. Dat nice. Ah glad all yuh reading SHARE.
People askin’ mih to write ting ‘bout de udda islands too but ah go look sctupid if ah do dat. I doh know all de ins and outs of all de islands so if I take mih fas’ self an’ look to talk about what going on in Guyana or St. Vincent, all yuh go laugh at me.
Ah have tuh write about what ah know. Ah know Trini commess an’ Toronto commess an’ US bacchanal. Who ever willin’ to pay mih passage to sen’ mih elsewhere could write mih. Mih grip pack awready to go where it have hot sun.
Yes, but as ah was telling all yuh. Dis is a democratic monarchy. Queen Macoomeh does listen to she subjects. Leh we take a vote. Ah goin’ to write a simple nursery rhyme in two different way. One go be in de usual English. Den ah go write de same ting in Trini translation. Write mih an’ give mih yuh vote as to which one song better.
All yuh ready?
"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water
Jack fell down and broke his crown
And Jill came tumbling after."
Everybody could read dat one right?
But if ah write it in Trini patois, it go look like dis.
"Ay Ay! All yuh ent hear what happen wid Jack and dat half crack girl Jill? It was real bacchanal las’ week Friday! De pipe main did bus’ and W.A.S.A. takin’ long to fix it. So dat morning, Jack mudda akse he to bring some water fuh she to wash wares. Jack so bloomin’ lazy he go an’ call Jill jes’ to help he tote one mingy little bucket wid water. Yuh know how long dat boy was tackling Jill? Ever since dey move up from Paramin to Morvant when Jack fadda get a wuk in tong.
De stan’ pipe was quite up de hill across from Miss Jemma ole house by de chennet tree what blow away de time when Hurricane Winifred pass troo. Jill self like she cah tell he ‘no’ so she run up behine he. Buh yuh know, I did hear how she put ting in rice fuh he las’ year, oui! But it look like it backfire and is so she get bazodee. Anyway, nex’ ting yuh know, ah hear BRAGADANG!! Jack bus’ a fall! He trip over he lacin’.
If you hear how dat boy bawl down de place from a little bounce head! Yuh would swear he dead! Ambulance come an’ everybody stop what dey was doing to go and fine out what do Jack.
But yuh know, since Jack mudda make he, she wasn’t too right in she head eh? My dear Louise! I hear de night she take een wid he, dey had was to rush she to hospital becaw one minute she was in de kitchen making alloo pie nex’ minute she start singin’ "Nearer My Gawd To Thee" an’ cussin’ in between.
Jill like monkey see monkey do, she trow dong she self and roll down de hill dry dry. Yuh ever see ting so?"
Ah want all yuh sen’ mih all yuh version of dat nursery rhyme an’ ah go pick a winner. Ah want different island to sen’ me a version. If yuh win ah go sen’ yuh a snap of Toronto at night when current gorn.