Awright. Let me see if I get dis ting straight.

If I do ah wrong, maybe damage somebody chile, mash up a family, take de life of one of we pohlice, I might go to jail an’ get a nice luxury day at ah spa. Ah could get dem to tess meh and see what colours suit meh, ah could get meh head an’ meh nail do, get meh foot massage, drink tea in a fine Chiney cup, get dem to serenade me wid a harp.

Dat song like a good deal to me. You doh fine so too?

All yuh know what ah talking bout? Yuh din read de newspapers on Sunday, September 5? Ah want yuh fine it and read it. Den read de story dey print on de nex’ day. After dat, sen’ an’ tell me if you doh tink dis worl’ is one big mad house.

It seem as doh while me an’ you wukking out we nable string trying to make en’s meet. While me an’ you going in de Shopper Drug Mark to see if we could afford a small bokkle of cutex an’ some vasaline to smooden we dry foot, While we keeping ah eye on we chirren to make sure dey doh knock about or teef people ting. While we fighting wid de cole, de heat, de taxes, de high prices in de shop, people like Marcia Dooley and Mary Taylor getting treatment dat you an’ me cah even afford.

Dem two name song familiar to you?

Remember two years aback, how yuh heart grieve when yuh did hear ‘bout a likkle boy name Randall Dooley? How he step mudda beat he to deat’? Yuh remember how yuh cry? Remember in 2000 yuh hear how ah woman take a butcher knife an’ kill pohliceman Bill Hancox? Yuh remember how yuh was glad when dey trow dem in jail?

Well dahlin, dey living better dan you an’ me now. Ah read how dey get to have ah spa day. De officials say how deze women who in jail is ‘stressed’. De spa day is supposed to help dem feel better bout demself.

When I read de news meh mout drop open. Dey stressed? Dey feeling bad bout deyself? What de france is dis? Murder not stressful? Being a murderer not supposed to make yuh feel bad about yuhself?

So yuh could understan’ why my head hurtin’ me trying to figure out dis outrageousness. Dem blinking teeves cut back on my so and so healt’ care, my roads jook up like a grater, ah have to wait until hell get cole before ah could get a surgery, dey does take out de better part of my paycheque. If I buy ah bread for tree dollars it does come up to nearly five dollars when dey add een tax. Now you telling me a criminal who take ah life an’ make we community bawl, getting aroma-terapy?

Who running dis mad-house?

Ah wasn’t born yesterday. Ah know jail have plenty ting in it dat me an’ you cah take fuh granted outside. Dey does get tree meal ah day, dey does get to exercise, to read. Some does get to go to school an’ take lesson to gradiate or learn trade. A lady tell me she tour a prison an’ see dey have hairdresser an’ ting.

Dat does fret meh bad but ah hush meh mout. But now dey having luxury spa?

Is Fantino who apparently give we de news. Ah does vex wid he sometime but ah wid he on dis one. He vex, I vex same way.

Who it was who tink dis spa ting was a good way to spen’ my kiss-meh-neck tax money? Den ah read how dey saying Dooley and Taylor "declined to attend the events". So? Dey was invited ent? Udda criminals accept de invitation, ent? Dey makin’ we a pappyshow! If Dooley decide she din want to loll awf in a nice bartrobe fuh a day, dat is not de point! De point is she get to refuse such a day! On toppa dat I hear is ah annual event not a one time ting!!

Dey making it more an’ more harder fuh decent people to stay decent. Who is de real prisoner? Me, who cah afford to buy meh grocery or meh bus pass or dem who incarcerate an’ getting free everyting?

Ent dis is ting to mek law-abidin’ people cuss?

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