Ah Pongin’ Everybody!

By

ME

copyright to the webmistress (yuh ole teef)

Even doh ah pongin' CCC an’ TMBA doh feel is dem alone deserve de leng'a mih tongue! It have some real soucouyant in we community dat need to study dey head good an' stop playing de arse.

All all yuh who feel dat everyting we have should be free, better had go by somebody else. Ah does see yuh openin' yuh wallet an’ givin’ Air Canada Centre de $200-500 dollars dey does akse fuh yuh tuh sit in de nose bleed seckshon an’ watch de Maple Leafs nearly win. But when we Carnival people trow a fete yuh looking tuh storm and stan'in' up outside bawling how de $20 too dear.

Why you so blasted mingy?

Tell me how you could go tear’ta and pay $12 to siddong an’ watch udda people make millions but cah pay $15 to see yuh own King and Queen Show? If yuh know how it does get me vex to see all yuh pack up in front Lamport Stadium, lookin’ to scale wall, bus’in hole in de fencin’, harassin’ de staff an’ yuh wouldn’ come inside an’ see we mas like decent people. Why yuh bodda tuh come at all?

 Ah know limin’ is a National Pastime of all Caribbean island but oh gosh man!

 An’ den it have some who line up, reach de cashier and den lookin’ to argue dong de price. I bet yuh mih las’ dollar yuh din do dat when yuh take de chirren an' went an' see Lion King in Princess’a Wale tear’ta doh! I bet yuh hush yuh no teet mout’ an’ pay de $80 an’ bawl “RAY” when it finish!

 Once we reach inside it have some’a all yuh who feel yuh fadda is a glass maker. I din pay good money to watch de back’a yuh chupid head wid de weave dat need doing over! Dis year ah comin’ to de show again an’ ah mad pelt mih sappat behine yuh head! An’ doh feel yuh could fight mih back because ah bring’in a CCC sollysitor wid mih tuh sue yuh for Blockage of Mas!

 De nex’ set who does get mih ignorant is doze who too cheap to buy a costume, too cheap to pay to sit in de stands fuh de parade but lookin’ to jump in de ban’ free. I work hard all year, I save an’ pay fuh a nice costume, I bade dat mornin’ an’ lookin’ fresh an’ cripsy and you come wid yuh stingy, frowsy self in my ban’? Yuh mad or what?

 Joke is joke buh damn joke ent no joke!

 Every year yuh doin’ de same damned chupidness. Sell half dat fake gold yuh wearin’ on an’ buy a costume nuh! How my ban’ go look good when you in it in a short pants and jersey spoilin’ it? Instead’a buyin’ de $200 FUBU tree quarter jeans, pay $100 an’ get a good costume an’ enjoy yuhself!

 An’ stop beggin’ fuh mih kiss mih arse costume!! Ah chut man! Ah din get de blinkin’ ting free y’know! People pullin’ off yuh costume even before yuh reach partway dong de route! If ah offer yuh fine but yuh grabbin’ mih standard, yuh pullin at mih headpiece! Las’ year dis woman reach over de barrication an’ snatch off mih wris’ ban’ jes so! Where all yuh come out from? I never see more!

 It have a nex’ set’a all yuh dat does have me confuse. I doh understan’ dis one at all at all at all.

 Hear nuh, dis is de one time Toronto does loosen up an’ liven up. Is we West Indian who doing dat. Nort’ American knows nutting about how to free up. It ent have nutting to compare wid we music, we joy an’ we creativity. Dey could say what dey want but when you see Sally King pass or Jessie Queen pass or when Pan Fantasy or Silhouettes steelband ‘rounds de corner, or King David singin’ he heart out on top de truck, every man jack does stop and stare in admiration.

 So tell me dis ting. Why some’a all yuh bamsee heads bringin’ gun an’ knife in dis family affair?

 I want dem nowherians explain dis to me! YOUR people in de road dancin’ and singin’ wid dey chirren in de crowd. YOUR people bringin’ life and sweetness to dis dreary, cole continent. YOUR people showing dis place how creative we is, how friendly, how fun lovin’. Where you comin’ goin’ wid gun? Is eidda you or me real dotish becaw I doh understan’.

 Ah does see all yuh dressup in yuh dragon drawers like a five cents badjohn. Yuh face hard an’ greazy, no love in yuh eye. All yuh like batchac. Yuh come on Lakeshore lookin’ to tun everyting ole mas. If is kill yuh like to kill den join de military an’ proteck yuh country nuh? If is shoot yuh like to shoot so much den aim de gun at yuh blasted duncey head foot radda dan take decent people life! Yuh mook! If yuh make de tourises frighten tuh come to Toronto is your very own people going to lorse out! What you doin’ is a straight case of madness.

 Shims.

 Jump high or jump low I lookin’ forward to de lime dis year doh. I supportin’ whoever make we festival come off good. Ah done know plenty CCC members vex wid mih fuh mih big mout but if I, as a Carnival supporter cah speak mih mine tuh all yuh den tings real bad. An’ ah done watchin’ tuh see how we new organizers makin’ out. Nobody could say Queen Macoomeh does talk behine people back. If de jim boots fit, wear it.

 But let me tell you something eh. De festival not only in de han’ of de CCC an’ de TMBA. It in we han’ too. It was always in we han’. But unity is a ting dat does run from we over and over again.

 No matter where I go ah does talk up mih people becaw we sweet too bad in we skin. I not goin’ to give up hope dat we could overcome not only pressure from outside but pressure from inside.