Ah know all yuh going to say how I too big an’ ole to be so surprise at people, but ah cah understand someting. Yuh know me, mih mout’ big but ah doh stan’ fuh slackness. I like to akse question and ah does try to understand people an’ how we does move wid one anudda.

I doh call name eh, so doh sen’ an’ akse me who ah talkin’ bout. Hear what happen.

In de course of doing my business, ah bounce up a lady from de States. She was arranging a radio show having to do wid we Caribbean people. Well I like no better joke, as soon as I hear dat I fly up in front to akse she how she show going an’ to see if I could help out. I like my Caribbean too bad an’ I like to make sure we get good representation.

Hear what dis lady turn an' tell me nuh. She say how she doing a show to talk about famous Caribbean women for Women’s History Month but she cah fine too many to talk about.

Well Boy! Is a good ting my mudda teach she chirren some manners oui, because I nearly fly dong dat lady troat! Ah nearly lambaste she tail! All yuh was going to hear how dey lorse Queen Macoomeh in jail for causing public commotion.

Dis lady look me in my face and say she cah fine enough Caribbean women to big up! You ever see ting so? But what trouble is dis?

But is not she alone. Plenty people doh know dat we Caribbean people have talent and skill dat beat back all dem so call big pappy! Dey doh know we does contribute to society as a whole, not only in de Caribbean but all about. Dem feel we home swinging from ah mango tree. Dem feel we ignorant. Dem feel all we women have twenty chirren for twenty-five different man. Dem feel we men only good for one ting. Dem feel all we doin' home is drinking rum and standin' up staring in space.

Dat kine of ignorance is a crime in dis day an’ age! Since I am Queen ah locking up all ignorant people!

No man ah vex! Ah mean to say, oh gawshe man. How de bloomin’ France she could be doing a show on we an’ doh have proper information on we? Look boy every time I tink about dis foolishness more hair does drop out mih picky head! Mih head like ah flannel ball now!

De nex’ set who does get me real stink is dem who feel it only have tree island in de Caribbean. If yuh akse dem, dey go say, Jamaica, Barbados and Trinidad. Sometime dey might add een Bahamas or even St. Croix. Is as if all de rest of my islands gorn out! If yuh tell dem St. Kitts, dey watching you; if yuh say Dominica, dey aksing yuh if yuh mean Dominican Republic.

Hear nuh man, dis ting have my blood pressure in de roof!

Now I mihself going to take responsibility too eh. I an’ all doh know all we heroes but ah does read, ah does akse question. Ah does tell mih chile all who ah know. De udda day a fella sen’ mih a long list wid people from de Caribbean who do important tings in history. I remember some of de names but din know certain ting about how much dey do tuh raise we up. Plenty ting surprise me to fine out.

But I doh like people representing we who doh know one blinking ting about we! Doh make bad skylark wid me. Dat cah happen! Yuh ever watch a movie where dey have ah actor who pretendin’ he is a West Indian? Yuh hear dat fakey fakey accent he have? When dey have documentry on TV about us, dey always going behine Papa Gawd back and flimming some ole broko-dong shanty house wid ten pot-hong in de yard. Everybody dey interview have one teet in dey head and ugly like sin.

Some people doh seem to understan’ dat even doh de Caribbean area small, we have all colour and all race in it, not jes Black alone. We runnin’ we own countries! We does have confusion yes, but is not we who causing a worl’ war! I will even go so far as to say more dan half we problem is because of dem blinking foreigners bringin' all dey mirasme and greed in we lil place! We educated, good looking, ambitious and proud.

Is jealous dey jealous! An’ is de ambitious part what have dem jealous! Doh doubt mih. Look leh me hush now yes before ah start to cuss, yes . But ah coming back to write more about dis damn schtupidness!