Copyright February 2004

You ever have so much to say dat you doh know where to start? Papa Yo! Mih mout’ open and so much ‘tory trying to jump out it look as doh ah have a speech impediment. Ah want to give all yuh de whole epistle from Saint Paul right troo to Ecclesiastes. If ah run out of room dis week look for me next week.

You remember in de beginning of de year ah did beg de CCC please, to let me know what me and my community could do to help out and ease up de yearly bacchanal? You remember ah put mih cards on de table and tell dem dey hurting mih heart and I would do whatever little I could do to give dem a pull out? I write all of dat right here in de papers, ah din hide nutting.

On Saturday, de tutty firs’ of January dey had dere Annual General Meeting. Ah pardner of mines give me de membership papers a week before. Ah fill it out wid mih hard earn fifty-five dollars and sen’ it een by hand right away. Ah take my weary self from quite up behine Papa Gawd back where ah living, hustle downtown, pay de house mortgage de city does charge to park, nearly fall and break mih tail on some ice it had in de parking lot, hurry in de building and you know dey make me stand up outside for nearly half hour while dey discuss if wedda to let me in?

Now my mudda din raise no jammet eh? Ah stan’ up at de side quiet. Udda people who get quarantine was quarrelling and cussing de security guards. I hush mih mout. People who know me was surprise to see me standing up outside like ah have no owner. Dey akse me question. Ah keep mih trap shut. One set’ah simi-dimi happen until some members inside had to make noise to make dem let we in. Ah come een. Dey had my fee money an’ application right dere on de table so is not as if to say I now reach and looking to storm ah fete. Ah went and siddong and pull out mih copybook, mih mout still quiet.

Lemme akse you a question. Doh go and say I say eh? But eef you have ah business dat seeing trouble to make a profit. Year after year autorities scrutinizing you. You nearly went bankarup and had to beg yuh creditors to ease you up. One year de City foutie well snatch yuh parade from you and give it to ah nex’ fella. You doh tink if yuh community say ‘look boy ah still supporting you. Ah coming to see if ah could help.’ You wouldn’ be glad to open yuh blinking door and let we in?

Yuh have no reputation lef’ and yuh still cutting style? I read de membership form backwards, frontwards and upsidey down and I din see no where mark dat if I pay my money before de day, I cah come een. De paper say ah cah register de same day so ah handle mehself a whole week before. If it had a rule like dat, mark it down on de application so dotish people like me who cah read good could see it. In all my born days, nobody ever hole me hostage. Ah pass troo Canada Customs, US Immigration, endless Embassies, security for banks and big pappy events and look who come to jack me up in a lobby but de CCC.

Ah was vex eh but yuh see me? Ah have too much broughtupsy to get on like a warahoun. De jokey part is when I settle mihself and look to see who all on de board, I had to cover meh mout and laugh. Ah not calling name eh, so stop whistling. Hear nuh. In all my life I have two speeding ticket and one parking violation and I was bleaching outside while some real crucial people loll off at de table discussing my qualification? Look I nearly dead!

But ah make de sign of de cross and hush meh mout’ oui Papa. Meeting start.

Oh goooshe look mih weekly space run out and de ole talk not done! Aight, next time ah go continue my community report. Nobody could say Queen Macoomeh does talk behine people back. Ah henging everyting on de line. Ah doh lie on people.

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