Tings nice-ing up in Toronto boy! Everywhere yuh pass, people outside enjoying de sun and ting. My people ready like Freddie fuh de likkle enjoyment.

I mehself done wash meh foot to jump een de bacchanal. Ah like meh mas’ and meh pan. All yuh done know ah doh make joke wid dat. But what I want to know is, what it is dem calypsonians an’ soca men really singing deze days?

Now before yuh boof meh, lemme take in front and say is not all de calypsonians who taking dis ting fuh a joke. Some fellas, like my boy Rudder does keep de ting sweet. Look de udda day Rudder take over de Hummingbird Centre and massacreet de place. Up to now de poor ushers and dem still shaking dey head wondering what happen. I bet dat place never see nutting so before. We was dancing in de aisles. Dem was only used to ballet an’ opera but West Indians trow holy water on de place dat night.

But apart from Rudder and one or two uddas, what ever happen to nice lyrics? It gorn outta style?

Ah know when de ting get hot and yuh playing yuh mas or yuh in a fete, yuh does dance to any ole chupidness. Jes’ knock a bottle and a spoon an’ party start. But ah fine deze freshwater fellas singing one setta tata. Time yuh dance two chune, yuh sweating like a race horse an’ somebody snatch yuh washrag.

All yuh go say I getting’ ole but jes’ de udda day ah tell a lady how ah miss meh boy Kitchener, gawd res’ he soul. He uses to have chune dat was nice an’ jumpy but still have lyrics dat make sense. On toppa dat, he chune uses to make pan talk. Man I remember de firs’ time ah hear "Pan In A Minor", ah hole meh head an’ bawl. I was home an’ Amoco Renegades was on stage. By de time de chune finish play dey nearly had was to give meh smelling salts! Doh laugh, is troot!

Ah say to mehself, Kitchy cah do better dan dat. But he make me a liar because he lash we wid "Bees Melody", "Guitar Pan", "Mystery Pan" and plenty more. It doh have nobody to take he place. Mine you, ah fine DeFausto coming to come but nobody could do like Kitchy.

Calypso change doh. Once upon a time if yuh din have good lyrics people used to boo yuh awf de stage in de tent. Yuh uses to dress in yuh nice gun mout’ pants and stingy brim hat to come an’ sing. But now is only ‘put yuh han’ in de air!’ an’ dey wearing on dey underwear on stage. De new style is to see how much clothes yuh could take awf before all yuh cankalang get expose. Ah see Denise Belfon in someting looking like a polyester ‘kerchief. I never see Calypso Rose in dem ting yet.

Not too much people singing calypso dat have political an’ social commentary like how Chalkie an’ dem have. All yuh remember Valentino chune "Trinidad is Nice"? Den it have Black Stalin wid "More Times" an’ Shadow "Columbus Lie". Dem fellas take time wid dey chune and de picong was nice. Even Sparrow wid he outlawcious self uses to have all he chune well put togedda an’ jokey like "De Lizard" and "Obeah Man".

Ah know tings mus’ change but ah miss de way a chune uses to stay in yuh head fuh years. To dis day when yuh hear de words "A lovely day fuh cricket..." yuh know right off de bat dat is Relator chune. If yuh hear "Captain, de ship is sinking" yuh could bet yuh bottom dollar dat is Gypsy chune. Nowadays yuh doh know who telling yuh to put yuh hand or yuh foot in de air, yuh doh know what again to wave an’ it look like nobody know how to count more dan four because all’ah dem saying one, two, tree, four over an’ over.

Ah does enjoy de bacchanal doh eh, ah not going to lie. When ah hear "Faluma Ding Ding Ding" I did jump higher dan anybody. Destra chunes does make meh shake meh pampalam. Shurwayne and Machel and dem does put meh in meh glee but still ah miss de true art form. Ah miss de story telling in music.

But after one time is two so ah cah change dat. As de song say "De Price of Progress is High".

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