Las’ week ah tell mehself lemmeh go an’ get meh head do. Nutting fancy eh? Jes’ leh dem wash meh knots and twist it up fuh meh. I gorn to ah lady dey on Eglinton by whey Markham meet it. She was only quarter-way done when ah man walk een an’ akse to speak to de proprietor. I only half listening until ah hear ‘racial profiling’ and ah see a camera man bounce een de place.

Doh laugh eh? Dis ever happen to you? You decide to trow on some ole clothes, yuh head frizzle out, ah ole washecong an’ yuh go quick to come back? It doh have nowhey fuh yuh to hide. So is to see me looking like ah j’ouvert morning ole mas trying to disappear into tin air.

Into de salon comes dis pohlice orficer wid ah fella from Global TV talking to people in de area about de lates’ report on racism in Kingston and ah nex’ new report dey want to do in Toronto.

Now doh say how Queen Macoomeh getting ole an’ dotish eh? But answer me dis. How much report dis country need before it stop an’ say "aight, it have racism. Leh we stop making report and start making change." Is how long now we telling dem it have racist pohlice who taking advantage of dey uniform an’ gun to make we a pappyshow?

Ah hear how ah big man cry long tears when de report tell he how he orficers pulling we over more dan anybody else. Ah hear how he was surprise an’ upset. Well doux doux dahling, we not surprise but we very upset. We upset dat you din know dis even after donkey years of telling you an’ all yuh pardnas dat we getting bad treatment.

But getting back to dis man in de hairdresser. As he talking to we an’ de camera rolling, ah akse mehself ah question. Why he here? Why is dis Black orficer wid a Black associate from Global in a Black salon asking deze question? We not profiling nobody. Ent he should be in Ottawa or City Hall or Kingston aksing dem question?

Is my head what bazodee?

When yuh fowl get teef, yuh doh look to akse de fowl why it get teef. Yuh does akse de teef why he do it, not so? So if de pohlice profiling we and making bogus charges on we, why dey coming by we to akse question? Ent dey should akse dem pohlice?

Look meh picky head hurting meh y’see! Ah doh have enough bayrum to sap meh head.

De orficer who was talking to we was well spoken an’ friendly. Inspite meh frizzleout head and greazy face he still talk to meh nice. Ah tell he dat de pohlice need to learn dey community. Dey not sensitive.

Dey need to participate not supervise. We doh need no more overseers. Massa day done. We need pohlice who know we. Who know dat jes’ because ah have a nice car, wid spinning wheel dat doh mean ah teef it. Ah might be paying troo meh nosehole to afford de bank loan ah take out to buy de car. De tires corse more dan de car, but is mines, ah paying fuh it!

We need orficers who doh fraid we. Yes! Doh say no! Dey fraid we! Ah not aksing yuh ah telling yuh! Dey fraid we laughter and we music and we style. If we laugh loud dey feel we high or drunk, if we music loud it mean we selling drugs to buy de speakers, if we dress nice dey feel we teef de pants from de store. Dey fraid we ambition. We who clean and tidy and climbing de ladder of success does frighten dem bad.

De pohlice need to look in dey yard before dey come to look in we own. We chirren have ah hard enough time in dis crazy worl’ we living in. Dey have dat dotishy Five Cent and Snoop Pothong as hero. But as dat young fella tell me in he email. "When they pull us over, they don’t talk to us. They insult and accuse us even before we open our mouths. They never find anything. We’re just hanging but they act like we are criminals."

Racism not going away. But dey must stop trying to fool we wid all dem reports and surveys. We not dat chupid. Start edumakating de orficers. Let dem earn dey Tolerance Cerfitikate.