The Wrong and the Senseless

By

Queen Macoomeh

Copyright May 2003

A Deputy Essential - all yuh remember dat chune? Boy I doh know nuh. Dat deputy business sounding like more tunda dan it wurt. I was never de marredin’ kine but once ah take dat gawd step, I figure I din need no more confusion. Why I must go an’ heng mihself? Is only dem soap opera stars could do dem ting widdout problem.

Plenty people might start squingin' in dey seat as dey reading mih story dis week. Ah know. Ah laughin' becaw ah notice when ah write certain ting ah does get plenty letter de following week. Pappa yo! Look ruction! Ah wonder if mih mailbox could hole all de letter ah goin' to get from dis one? How many go be tryin' on de shoe dis week?

But hear nuh. Imagine me goin' ‘outside’. Me who everybody know. Ah cah even buy a sweetie widdout somebody ah know spotting mih in de parlour. Where I goin’ wid he? It doh have no fete dark enough fuh somebody not to spot my tail. I doh know how some wimmen does do dem ting nuh. Mih heart done not so good awready, so ah cah take de excitement.

Now bein’ marred doh mean yuh eye cah see. Ah mean tuh say yuh not dead. I not too backward mihself. Now and den ah does make a lil sweet-eye and ah might even give dem a small smile an’ ting an’ play like ah din notice dem watchin’ mih. Ah does make mih lil ole style and ting yes. Buh some wimmen like dey wukkin’ fuh Remax. Dey does have a reg’lar open house. An’ ah notice is not only saga girl who does drevait.

Some people say how Nort America so big yuh could do yuh ting in smart-man and nobody wid know. But I have corbeaux luck. I could take de man to Oh He Oh Ho and still get ketch. An’ I done cah lie so good. See me now tryin’ to explain to mih husband where ah was all evenin’. If ah say tearter he might akse who de star boy was. If ah say ah was in work late, he might want to know how come ah working so hard and not getting pay extra. If ah say ah was by a girlfren, bet yuh bottom dollar de same chupid girl did call home lookin’ fuh mih. Oh goooode nah boy! Ah cah take de pressure.

Some people seem tuh tink is only de fellas who does drevay. An' for a long time ah uses to agree. But as ah get older ah start aksing' mihself who it is de fellas drevaying wid? Ah know dey does have dey boys' night out tuh go an' lime but de times dey might come home smellin' like Channa Number Five, what does be going on and wid who?

I went an’ see a movie a little while aback called "Unfaithful". De lady had a good husband and a nice chile but still slip and fall in some young boy yard. I steupse troo de whole movie. But it make mih akse mihself what it is people looking for when dey drevay. When yuh have everyting, what more it is yuh want?

Maybe human beans cah be satisfy? Ah know some people does bad talk we West Indian men as if dey invent dat. Some blame slavery for dis knocking about. But I am here to tell you dat West Indians din invent it an’ we not even de bes’ at it. Outside people have dat mastered. An’ as far as I know, slavery over for a few generations now so how we could blame dat?

But I not preaching. I does try to see life real not no soap opera or no holier dan dow art. Tings does happen. Sometime is jes dat yuh want some company an’ who you have home not meeting yuh halfway. Some spouse does forget dey duty an’ doh pay attention. Is not always slackness what bring yuh in dis. But ah know it have some who like no better joke dan to be from pillar to post. Ah does see dem an’ preten’ ah din see dem in de fete wid who not belonging to dem. Ah cah see in one eye an mih nex’ eye cokey.

20022003