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See Nen Nen News By Queen Macoomeh
Copyright June 2007
When you listen to de news sometimes you doh feel like cussing? Everyday is more commess and bobol. Ah chut man, I fed up wid dem setta slackers! Look Paris Hilton. How come she make front page news? De girl living far from de kitchen, have no talent, not even dat good looking but yet still making headline. Now I hear she making a jail. Could you imagine Ms. Hilton in jail? She could pass troo de bars sideways, dey go have to put mosquito netting. And den no makeup, orange jumpsuit and nobody to snap she? What she going to do? Read a book? Look doh make joke. When she went and do she chupidness she din tink dey wudda jail she? And it wasn’ de first offense eh? Dem rich people does write dey own rules. Reckless driving wid babash in yuh system is a crime all how you look at it. But all like me so woon get chance to appeal and make style before dey lorse me in jail. All like me who poor and sibble would be inside de Big House before you could say Dasheen Bush teef de election twice. I would be sharing a cell wid some bolockshus woman name Gladys who was a high priestess in de KKK. Ms. Hilton go get a single cell dat Martha Stewart feng shui. Den dis man who had TB and went on de plane. What you would do wid he? He know he have a dangerous strain of TB and still gone inbetween people. Dey put he in isolation wid arm guard. Ah hear he apologize to de people who was on de plane wid he. Apologize? “Ahmm, sorry for coming in de plane and sitting dong wid all yuh and exposing you to ah potential fatal disease eh? I din mean to put yuh life in danger. Is jes dat ah had a party to go to in Greece and tort if ah akse de pilot to drive de plane quick and ah hole meh breath ah could reach across de Atlantic before ah kill all yuh awf.” Dais a joke now? He mad or he playing mad? Ent dat is a form of terrorism? De man is a walking bomb not so? Me who come from de Caribbean dey looking at me up, dong and sideways, looking in my crepsole, opening my bag, taking my one bottle of rum. I doh even travel if I have a cole and dis man sail troo wid TB? You making bad skylark boy! And yuh hear about deze people dey arrest for trying to blow up JFK airport? As if I doh ketch my nen-nen enough when I travelling, deze people come and light up my world. It doh matter dat one of dem in de states since before I born and is a US citizen eh? Dey make sure and check boat paper and tell de world dey come from de Caribbean. I even hear one is ah ex-parliament minister from Guyana, a next one still loose in Trinidad. Dey go ketch he soon doh, mark my words. I hear de fellas din have no real plan, no bombs, nutting. What it is dey was going to do? Light a matchstick by de fuel line, drop it and run? Dey say de fellas involve wid some funnymentaliss Islamic group. Put on a cap and change yuh name and suddenly you is Muslim. Being a Muslim or a Christian or a Hindu or Buddhist is more dan a name and quoting Holy Book eh? But I digess. If all yuh make me start to talk bout religion is now noise go start. What I want to know is why you want to blow up JFK? Yes I know de US have plenty to answer for. I wasn’t born late lass night. But what kind of peace or religion or Gawd you following to make you want to murder innocent people? And is quite a bit of yuh own people in dat airport eh? New York is like a mini Caribbean. When de bomb go off and bodies lying on de grong and tears flowing, you going to sleep sound dat night? You go take a drink and congratulate yuhself? Lass week a squirrel run acrawse de road in front meh car and ah nearly mash it and feel so bad de whole day. But all yuh want to 'kill de man' wid not a single tort dat 'de man' is your own brudda and sister and cousin. Ent yuh say God create all? How all yuh does negotiate dat in all yuh mind den? And de media like no better joke. All in a sudden dey remember where Trinidad and Guyana is and dey pronouncing de name properly. When we boys qualify for World Cup lass year, it was a tiny island in South America name Trinidade and Tobahgo. Now dey fine a map and have camera crew dong dere. Look let me hush oui, before Harper cancel meh visay.
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