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Lovely Cricket By Queen Macoomeh
Copyright March 2007
“A lovely day fuh cricket, blues skies and gentle breeze. De Indians are awaiting now, to play de West Indies. A signal from de umpire, de game’s about to start. De cricketers come on the field, dey all look very smaaart!” (Lord Relator)
Whole mont’ dat chune was playing in meh head. Ah cah even remember all de words but ah singing loud loud. Ah say to mehself, ‘Nice! Ah coming in here to skylark wid all yuh about de Worl’ Cup Cricket what going on in de Caribbean islands right now.” But pappayo! Ah get de smile wip awf meh face! All yuh hear de scandal and bacchanal dat going on? Somebody dead! Yes man! Is real ting going on! De coach of de Pakistani team was fong dead in he hotel room! Dey say is suspicious cause, now dey announce is murder! Well look at my crawses nuh? Is Law and Order WI oui! Now I wasn’ born yesterday eh? I know dat people does take sports serious. It have heavy betting on sports. Money does run tings all de time. But all yuh doh fine dey taking de joy out of sports wid all dis commotion? Once upon a time, a fella use to practice he sport and go an’ play. It was jes he and he skills on de field. If it have ah disagreement, men would trow two cuff and fight done. Now it have drug yuh could take to make yuh perform like twenty tarzan. It have bobol, it have murder if yuh win or lorse. Nah man! I doh know how de man dead eh? I am not de gawdmudda of Worl’ Cup Cricket. But if is murder in troot, ah aksin why. How tings could reach to ah stage where a man have to dead if he team lorse? Why people so blooming cravayhous? Now instead of enjoying de series, people have to be watching uddas sideways. De whole Pakistani team under pressure. Ah hope de Jamaican pohlice fine out who do de crime and jail dem quick. Ah not going to lie doh. I prefer football to cricket but many a time I see some cricket match that was well enjoyable. It not violent like hockey, it not rowdy like we football, it not half nekkid like beach volleyball and it not jokey like curling. Is a slow, careful game but when yuh hear “TWACK’ and ah man bat dat ball looking fuh de boundry, yuh does get excite! De batsman have he eye on de ball, on de fielders, on de wicket keeper, on de bowler and on de ump while he running down de pitch. De boundry man racing to ketch de ball, infielders positioning deyself, de wicketkeeper ready to out yuh. De batsman hatta know he geometree becaw he have to figure out if he go make it up de pitch and get ah one run den try fuh two, or if he get ah six in troot. Is like billiard on a big big table! I used to play lil cricket in school. Ah tired nearly get my head knock awf when de bowler pelt dat ball behine me. Deze days ah see dey wearing helmets to perteck dem. Dat good because I uses to play wid a flannel ball and still get plenty bruise. Dem fellas playing wid ah cork ball. If dat hit yuh at dem speed, yuh go need to rewire yuh jaw and pick up yuh ear awf de field oui. Ah not able. But yes, as ah was telling yuh. De Pakistani coach dead. Rest he soul. Plenty tory coming out. Ah hear dey have video tape from de hotel dat might show we who went in he room. Ah sorry doh, it put ah shadow over de games. Ah glad Pakistan win dey lass game to help keep dey courage up. And de West Indies team doing good. Ah watch de opening ceremony in Jamaica and was pleased. We come out good. We show de worl’ we could handle weself on ah international stage. De whole ting is ah good boost fuh de region despite dis criminal affair.
May de bes’ team (we own) win!
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